When Men Comment on My Posts vs When Women Do

Photo by Glenn Carstens-Peters on Unsplash

What is it about (some) men that they see a woman write a post about how people comment on her life choices and they feel a desperate need to… um, comment on her life choices?

One of my most read and shared Medium posts of late was called “Child Free Women Are Tired of Being Told They’ll Regret It.” As suggested by the title (or at least, I would have thought so), it was NOT an open invitation for strangers to comment on my child-free status — I mean, that was the whole point of the article.

For weeks, I’ve been receiving emails and comments from women telling me how much they related to the piece, that my words expressed what they’d often felt, that they’d shared my experiences, that they were relieved to hear someone actually talking about it. I treasured every one of these messages.

Blogging can sometimes feel like yelling into the void — and I’m always touched when someone takes the time to write to me just to let me know they can hear me. I don’t think I’ve ever taken the time to reach out to a writer of a piece I’ve enjoyed, but I definitely will from now on. There are almost 50 comments under the blog post and most of them are from women. I wrote the piece for them, unless that wasn’t abundantly clear.

Then there are the men. Yes I know #notallmen, but goddammit some men just do everything in their power to give men a bad name. Men I do not know, have never met, do not care about, took time out of their day to tell me that I’m selfish, insecure and ruining everything for everyone else (including them and their children, apparently).

These were my favourite responses:

Onanism is a sin for a reason.

Because it’s definitely child-free women who masturbate the most. Men with families? Never.

I suspect damaged and traumatized and those people that have no faith would opt out of children.

There you have it, folks. I am clearly traumatized. A man on the internet diagnosed me.

I have to point out, that there will likely be negative consequences in the future as you hit old age.

Yes, he “has” to point out. It’s his moral obligation as a man who understands what life is like for older child-free women.

It’s almost like you’re trying to portray yourself as an oppressed minority or something. This is embarrassing, and I don’t see it turning out well for you. Best of luck.

That’s right. A total stranger is embarrassed for me and wishing me “best of luck” for the terrible way my life is surely going to turn out.


Which made me wonder about whether women take time out of their day to read men’s posts that are obviously directed at other men… and comment about how stupid they are for having anything resembling an opinion about their own lives in the first place.

Something tells me they probably have better things to do.

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Claire J. Harris

Claire J. Harris

Global wanderer. Expert thumb-twiddler. Screenwriter, travel writer, and copy writer. Find me at www.clairejharris.com.